Im always going to carry you in my heart, even though you lied to me, cheated on me and broke me. Now Im in love again and I hate you for making it as terrifying as it is; you don’t deserve to have such a hold on me, even four years on. But I am in Love - something I never thought possible again - and you’re still a whore. Time heals all wounds.
“Part of this generation that is proud of its shallowness. The sincere performance is everything. Sincere and empty, totally empty. The sincerity that goes in all directions. The sincerity that is worst than falsness, and the innocence that is worse than corruption. All the rapacity hidden under the sincerity. And under the lingo. This wonderful language they all have - that they appear to believe - about their ‘lack of self-worth,’ all the while wha tthey actually believe is that they’re entitled to everything. Their shamelessness they call lovingness, and the ruthlessness is camouflaged as lost ‘self-esteem.’ Hitler lacked self-esteem too. That was his problem. It’s a con these kids have going. The hyperdramatization of the pettiest emotions. Relationship. My relationship. Clarify my relationship. They open their mouths and they send me up the wall. Their whole language is a summation of the stupidity of the last forty years. Closure. There’s one. My students cannot stay in that place where thinking must occur. Closure! They fix on the conventionalized narrative, with its beginning, middle, and end - every experience, no matter how ampiguous, no matter how knotty or mysterious, must lend itself to this normalizing, conventionalizing, anchorman cliche. Any kid who says ‘closure’ I flunk. They want closure, there’s their closure.” - Coleman Silk, from The Human Stain.
Spent a lovely Saturday at Peter’s parents house in Menlo Park. My quest for books is neverending and now I have troves of books to read and add to my collection. A special thanks to my “anarchist” boyfriend and his dear mother. I plan to approach these in no particular order.
- Ecotopia by Ernest Callenbach
- Untimely Meditations by F. Nietzsche
- Future Primitive (and other Essays) by John Zerzan
- Perfume Dreams by Andrew Lam
- Poetry and Prose by Robert Frost
- Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
- The Portable Faulkner by William Faulkner
- Blackbird House by Alice Hoffman
- The Dance by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
- The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman
I clearly have a lot of work to do. The titles and authors in italics take precedence over any other titles AFTER I finish The Human Stain by Philip Roth and Barrel Fever by David Sedaris.